I think it's relatively safe for me to post stuff here, because of the fact that nobody who surrounds me in my current life actually reads this blog. I apologise if anyone happens to stumble upon this blog to find something really juicy about me or something like that, but I'm gonna be real cryptic for my first post.

I've been upset for a while. Upset, but happy at times, when the little things you do make me smile, when the little things you say make me laugh. When I know you did something because you still care, or that you do remember.

You know how if you really like someone, and you really admire someone, for the longest time. And one day, it's reciprocated. You feel happy, elated. The other person makes you happy, and you would literally do anything for the person. It all goes well for a few weeks, everything you do together is perfect. You think that finally you've found the best thing in your life and you would never let go of it ever again.

And then they do.

There's a lead up too.

Euphoria, can be an addiction. I was addicted to your attention, and your care, and concern. I was addicted to what I thought was love. I thought I managed mental stress well, apparently I don't handle what I can't understand too well. I was trying to understand why you were doing it, and I usually attributed it to myself. You came back after a while, and we had the talk.

It was hard, but what came later was harder.

You were willing to accept my love, but your ways of returning the affection were unorthodox. It was like defusing a bomb at times, I had no idea what door I was going to open next, if I would regret it later or be happy momentarily.

I wish I could talk to you. I really do.